someday

I am well into my second week of summer and I am elated to say that my break has been full of nothing but sunshine and happiness. I am loving every moment of being home with my family, back in the south where I belong, and thanks to Skype, Facebook, and the lovely invention of the iPhone, I am still able to keep in touch with all my friends from school. I am so spoiled and getting the best of both worlds right now :)

As if I wasn't blessed enough, next week at this time I will be enjoying the sunshine from a Hawaiian beach as I celebrate the 25th anniversary of the most amazing parents a girl could ask for. For the last year my parents have been planning a vow renewal (more like a second wedding) that the whole family gets to participate in and it is finally here! The love that I have watched my parents share throughout my life and especially over the last couple months is my glimpse of hope this week. 

With my younger sisters still in school and my older sisters not yet home for summer, I have gotten to spend a lot of time with my mom these last two weeks. As we spend our days shopping and getting ready for the wedding with last minute preparations, my mom has been sharing stories about her and my dad that I hadn't heard before. I have learned so much more about my parent's relationship in the past two weeks and it is like watching them fall in love all over again. The way my mom talks about my dad, and vice versa the way my dad tells stories about my mom brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I can only hope that one day I will meet a man who loves me as much as my dad loves my mom. 

25 years is a hell of a long time and the fact that my parents have been through so much together over these years and somehow ended up together and happy at the end is amazing to me and brings me so much hope. In society today it makes me so sad to see all the divorces and to hear people talk about how true love and the sanctity of marriage doesn't really exist as much anymore. My parents are the prime example to contradict all the people that believe that is true. 25 years of marriage, 25 years of love, 6 daughters, and 2 beautiful grandchildren later, my mom will be walking down the aisle again and I am ecstatic that I will get to be there to witness it.

My parents have been and will always be my rock. They are the strongest, kindest, most accepting people I know and without their guidance I truly do not know where I would be today.  Through every mistake I have made, every hardship I have faced, and every moment I have celebrated they have been there holding my hand, wiping my tears, cheering me on. Blessed is the only word that can fully describe how lucky I am to have grown up with them together and happily married. I have THE greatest example about how a relationship should be and how a man should treat a woman (and vice versa). I have seen their fights, I have heard my mom talk about how my dad is "such an ass," and I have watched my dad shake his head and roll his eyes at my mom. More than that though I see them still hold hands in the car just because they can, I babysit the girls on weekends because they want to go out to dinner just the two of them, and I watched as my mom tried to convince my dad to let her show him her wedding dress because he was "her best friend" and she was too excited to wait. They have already taught me so much about love and life and they continue to amaze me with the strength and depth of their relationship. They give me so much hope about the future and that someday I will find a man to be my best friend and husband for 25 years and counting.

Congratulations mom and dad, I love you more than you will ever know! Cheers to a life full of love and happiness and to celebrating that on the beaches of Maui. Aloha!

its see you later

Goodbyes are never fun and these last two days have been full of some pretty emotional partings. Yesterday I had to say goodbye to one of my oldest friends, Maggie. I have been friends with Maggie my entire life (through our moms), but it wasn't until this year that I was blessed enough to live in the same state as her. I went back to my room and continued to try and pack with tears in my eyes. All of the sudden it hit me, nine months ago I sat in this same room crying as I was unpacking and begging my mom to let me transfer to a college in Texas. I cannot believe how much I have changed this year. I went from someone who was terrified at the prospect of being so far from home and living in a city where I could count everyone I knew on one hand to someone who cannot even fathom the thought of being away from Marquette for three months.

Don't get me wrong, I am SO excited to go home. I have big plans of doing absolutely nothing. Laying by the pool, sleeping in, and day trips to the lake are how I intend to spend my summer with maybe a little bit of work on the side. I miss my family so incredibly much and am thrilled at the idea of being with my sisters again, I just wish Dallas was just a little bit closer to Marquette. No one ever tells you how hard it is going to be to come to college, meet some of the greatest people of your life, and then have to say goodbye to them every summer. All I can think about right now is how lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life that make goodbyes so difficult. I literally have the best people in my life and I cannot wait for sophomore year. For now I will have to rely on Skype, texting, phone calls, and hopefully a weekend trip back up to the midwest in my future. So here's to summer and the end of a year full of amazing memories and incredible friends.

It's not goodbye, its simply see you later. 

mommy's advice

For as long as I can remember, whenever I am going through a difficult time my mom has always told me the same advice. She would hold me, wipe my tears, look at me and tell me that I just had to get through the day. She also would remind me of Dory's theme song in Finding Nemo, "just keeping swimming." I have followed my mother's advice all year long. With every new hardship or tragedy, I just had to keep reminding myself to keep swimming and that I made it through yesterday so I was probably going to make it through today which means I would also get through tomorrow. 


I remember specifically the first week of school, just days after my parents moved me into my dorm room and left me in Wisconsin, that I called my mom so homesick and told her that I wanted to come home already. She reminded me, as always, to keep swimming and that soon enough it would be Fall Break. Somehow all the days that I willed myself to get through have turned into an entire year of college, and I am proud to say I made it. I have officially completed my last class of freshman year and next week at this time I will be home in Dallas, thank God.


Freshman year has been an incredibly unique whirlwind of events. One full of too many ups and downs to count, endless tears and laughter, and an extremely difficult, but needed, learning experience. It is so hard to describe how I feel about this year because on one hand it feels like just yesterday I was meeting my roommate for the first time and moving in, but on the other hand it seems like first semester memories were a lifetime ago. Whichever way you look at it though, Freshman year is over. I am 1/4 finished with my college years and it has been one hell of a year. 


I am so blessed to have truly found the perfect place for me. Marquette University is a great school for so many reasons, but for me it is home. Choosing Marquette was one of  the best decision I could have made, and I thank God everyday that I was brought here. Between my incredible friends that I have met, the endless support that I have received from faculty and professors, and the community that I have become a part of, I truly could not imagine myself at any other college. This year I was presented with so many difficult situations and I could not have made it through them without the amazing support that I have found here at Marquette. I am sad to be saying goodbye for the summer, but I have so much hope for next year. I am so excited to start again at Marquette as a sophomore and I know it will be a great year. For now, I will dreaming of summer and the end of this long week of finals! For all of you still studying, you're almost done. Happy Finals and Happy Summer!

Just some of the amazing people who support me on a daily basis!

surrounded by hope

Last night was full of more hope than I could ever ask from, last night was Relay for Life 2012 at Marquette University, and last night was exactly where I needed to be. I woke up from my midday nap (in preparation for an all nighter) to that dreaded voicemail that I have gotten too many times this year. A classmate and friend, Arie Fitzhugh, had passed away after his battle against cancer. Another friend, another life, another phone call, more tears, and a heart more broken than I know how to handle. Once again I felt as if I could not breathe, I got off the phone with my friend from home and I just stared at my phone. Who do I call? What do I do? I have to be ready for Relay in 2 hours and now this. Confusion is the understatement of the year. I called my mom though and like she always does, she calmed me down and put it all into perspective. Cancer sucks, it is this horrible and unbearable disease that no one should ever go through. Arie was 19 years old and he shouldn't have had to be fighting so hard for his life, he was finally free from all of it. Finally in a place where pain and cancer doesn't exist, and THAT is what I need to be focusing on. 

Relay could not have come at a better time, being surrounded with hope and people that were all together for the exact same reason is exactly where I needed to be and I was with the people that have helped me through so much already. I listened to the survivor stories and stood with tears of joy in my eyes as the numerous survivors walked the first lap of the night. They are what I need to focus on, they are the hope of the future. Despite all the happiness and joy that moments of Relay brought me, there were those moments when the sadness was too much for me. For anyone who has not participated in Relay, one of the major events of the night is the Luminaria ceremony. The track is lined with candles adorned with the names of those we have lost or those that are still fighting. All the lights are turned off and everyone takes a silent lap around the track as a slideshow shows the names and pictures of those we have lost to this disease. 

It was a beautiful ceremony, but one that I would not have been able to participate in alone. Hand in hand with my sister, my friends, and my team I was able to walk despite the tears, despite the heartbreak, simply because I have the greatest support system in the world. My sister held me up when all I wanted to do was collapse. She kept me moving and she pushed me forward, much like she has been doing all year and for my whole life. Kaitie is my glimpse of hope this weekend, I know with her by my side I will get through this, I can handle this. Her living a block and a half a way from me has been the biggest blessing in the world this year.

A special thanks to my three dedicated and loyal boys on my team who stayed the entire night even though it was long and it was the last weekend before finals. You are all amazing. And to Maggie O'Brien and Nicole Roman, two of the best friends a girl can ask for. I am so honored to have gotten to walk side by side with them all night, in celebration of Maggie's mom and in memory of Nicole's lost loved ones. Two of the most incredible and caring girls I know, they continued to walk with me up until the very end, when most of the Relay participants had grown tired. Thank you both for holding my hand, for wiping my tears, and for providing constant support and comic relief when I needed it.

This weekend was hard, it was sad, and it marked another loss that I can't even comprehend at this moment. But it was inspiring, it was hopeful, and it helps me believe that there is something good coming out of all this loss. Marquette Relay for Life raised more than $47,000. $47,000 that will go to fighting this disease so that one day no one has to hear the words "you have cancer" anymore. I know we are making a difference somehow and I wish more than anything that that difference would have been made before Anna and Arie passed away, but their legacy and their memory lives on in all those that loved them and the inspiration they left behind. 

Anna's Hope

As an English major, there are very few times in life when I am at a loss for words. I have never really struggled with a way to convey my feelings or to tell a story. This week though, I have written, rewritten, deleted, backspaced, and shut my computer in frustration countless times trying to write this post, attempting to share my 'glimpse of hope' this week in a way that will do her justice. Easier said than done when the story I am trying to tell encompasses so many emotions, so many feelings, and so much of what has made me the person I am today. 

I have been extremely blessed in the last 19 years of my life to remain healthy, happy, and incredibly loved by those around me. I have had my difficulties to overcome, just as everyone has, and while they may have seemed like the end of the world at the time, nothing compares to the words "you have cancer." Tomorrow I am joining more than 600 Marquette students at Relay For Life, an event sponsored by the American Cancer Society designed in order to fight back against cancer. As a community we are doing our part to raise awareness and funds to create a world with more birthdays and less people who have to hear those fateful words.

Everyone has their different reasons to relay, this year I am relaying in memory of my friend Anna Basso who passed away on June 8, 2011 after a long, hard battle with this horrible disease. Anna was diagnosed her junior year in high school and put up an amazing and inspirational fight against Ewing's Sarcoma, a rare form of bone cancer. Anna has provided constant motivation and inspiration to me. I miss her everyday and I continually question why she was taken from us so young, but God had different plans for her and she has taught me so much about faith, life, and hope in her journey and her legacy.

Anna is my constant 'glimpse of hope.' She taught me, through the words of her favorite song, that "even if things get heavy, we'll all float on" (Modest Mouse), and she showed me what it was like to truly be strong. Her story is incredible and I could go on for hours about how amazing of a person she was. During her battle a modern day prayer chain was started in her honor, 1 Million 4 Anna. It was a website used to track all the people praying for Anna's health and to demonstrate the power of community as we were all asked to pray each day at 12:12 in honor of her favorite bible verse Romans 12:12. 1 Million 4 Anna has recently reached more than 3,000,000 tracked prayers, a true testament to the nature of her legacy and the lengths that her story has gone.

Its been almost 11 months since I last saw Anna. 11 months later and I feel her with me more than ever. The strength and faith she has given me helps me through my hardest days. I know Anna will be with me tomorrow, pushing me along as I walk in her memory and in honor of all those who have been affected by cancer. I am honored to have known such an incredible woman, I am honored to have been able to call her my friend, and I am honored walk in her memory tomorrow with team Float On. 

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" Romans 12:12

southern obsession.

These last few days have brought a lot of rain and dreariness. Sometimes it is so difficult to get out of bed on days like these, but lucky for me, I had some big plans to look forward too. As I have mentioned before, I am a country psycho. I am such a southern girl it is scary sometimes, and there is nothing I love more than my country music. This weekend I was blessed to see not one, but two incredible country concerts featuring some of my favorite artists. Between southern comfort, best friends, baseball, family, and endless laughter I have had one amazing weekend...and it's only friday!

My fun filled weekend started a little early, on Wednesday, when I got to go to the Brewers game with my sister and some of our wonderful friends. It was so nice just to sit and relax after a long week of tests and papers. I am a diehard Arizona Diamondbacks fan, but I adopted the home team for the day and was thrilled when they pulled off a win with a walk off run in the 9th inning.

Thursday was a day that I have been looking forward to for quite sometime. Miranda Lambert, my country idol, was playing just a few blocks away from my school and she was accompanied by two of my favorite country men, Jerrod Niemann and Chris Young. The concert was incredible and I spent it with my very best friend. I went home exhausted and voiceless, but it was so worth every moment of it. If y'all haven't heard of these talented artists, you HAVE to check them out, they are incredible! Miranda Lambert began one of her songs by explaining how music had always been a source of healing for her...I could not agree more. It is Miranda's newest single, Over You, that has been a source of so much emotion and strength during my difficult times. I swear by the fact that music has a way of helping you through some of the most difficult things and I am happy to say that it is Miranda's music as well as so many other artists that have brought me so much hope and comfort.

Finally, tonight I got to see a newer country artist, Hunter Hayes. He was AMAZING to see live and was so entertaining. It was a smaller venue so I literally got to stand just a few feet from him and I had an absolute blast. I am going to need several days of recovery after this week, thank goodness I have all day Saturday and Sunday. My boots have gotten their fair share of excitement this week and I am so incredibly grateful that I had such amazing people by my side to share this week with.

It is days like today that give me hope. Sometimes the bad days seem to pile up one after another, and often it gets too much to bear. I know it is difficult, and I know sometimes we don't want to, but it is crucial that we hang in there because there are going to be good days and those good days ARE worth it. And for those bad days that seem as if you won't get through, focus on something you know for certain is good. Whether it be music, your best friend, a family member, or your favorite movie, hold on to it, the bad days will pass and it just means you're next in line for something truly good to happen.

"where there is life there is hope. and where there is hope you will find happiness"

love from home

The hardest part of going to school so far away from home, for me, is missing out on my sister's lives. This weekend was my little sister's best friend's junior prom and I wish more than anything that I could have been there. It does not even compare to actually getting to be there, but she finally uploaded pictures to Facebook today and I had a blast creeping through all her "Kodak moments." 

My baby sisters, Meaghan and Caroline, are my glimpses of hope this week. The young, often immature girls that I left in August when I went to school have turned into two of the most incredible young ladies I have ever met. Obviously, I am very biased because they are my sisters, but I am continuously amazed with how much both of them have grown while I have been away, which is so bittersweet. Seeing Meaghan dressed up for Junior Prom is almost unfathomable to me, it was just yesterday we were playing around in our princess dresses and sneaking into my mom's makeup drawer. Meaghan continues to amaze me on a daily basis. While she prepares this week for her big dance show and plays an active role in the preparation for a huge fundraiser, Relay for Life, I could not be more proud to call her my little sis. 

These two beauties have overcome so much in the last year and their strength and grace that they have exuded during the hard times are giving me hope this week. I am the older sister and supposed to be the role model, but the two of them have taught me so much about love and life this year, without even knowing it. Caroline is only 12 years old and I constantly find myself amazed by the insight she has about life. She will say things and I just sit there in awe of how grown up she is. I am so blessed to have such incredible sisters in my life (I have three others, don't worry girls I will get to you soon), and I truly do not know how I would get through days without them. 

And as if my this week wasn't full of enough hope and happiness, I received my favorite thing in my mailbox today, a package slip! Thanks mom and dad for the love from home <3